The Last Second

He lay there quietly. He was still alive as his skin still tingled with pain and his heart out of wanting. The blood seeping through his skin mingled with the blood of his friends. The pains searing through his whole body may kill him any moment, but he wanted to live. He wanted to live to complete the unfinished. The fence of his small house was broken, the well was unclean, and he yet had to tie the swing to the backyard tree. The last two lines of his favorite poem, the only poem he remembered from school by Robert frost came to him. “But miles to go before I sleep, but miles to go before I sleep”. He wondered if he really could cover those miles before he slept. He did feel woozy and wanted to close his eyes and just let it go. But hope tugged around and just the thought of her soft hands wanted him to live some more, wish some more.
He slithered towards the phone, shouting with pain, crying out loud the name of god asking him to help him. His right leg was limp and had lost every sensation. That leg was lost he wondered. But life is more important than the leg. He picked up the receiver with no voice on the other end. The phone was no good. Everything and everyone was dead just like the death surrounding him.
He just lay there thinking about his mother and how she used to pour water over his head at night, bathe his forehead and then sing to him. “O sweet child of mine, o love of my life and so on. The sweet memory still comforted him. The pain ceased for a while but was back to its hilt again reminding him of the reality.
From his pocket he took out the letter his wife had last sent him. She was pregnant she had written, she was expecting his baby. She had sent the letter 3 months back and was already 2 month pregnant then. She must be five months into pregnancy now, he calculated. How he wanted to feel her stomach, touch the bump, feel his seed kicking inside her womb. A good female she was. Not very beautiful but very understanding. Nor once did she cry nor force him to stay back whenever he turned his back to leave. He remembered how longingly she wanted that ring. How she had stared at it but not asked for it. He would buy it for her when he returned. Yes that’s what he would do. He will adorn her swollen fingers with that ting. She deserved it. He knew he loved her, he had never told her that, but deep down she was the one for him.
A loud wail left his mouth as the bullet inside his chest embedded deep. The blood gushed out and all he could do was hold himself tight. The corpse of his fellow soldier lay next to him. Good man that Pratap Singh was. He wondered what his family would do, as the sole provider was dead. The flowing blood now was replaced with water from his eyes crying in pain of the wounds and the pain of losing his best friends.
His throat was constricting. The air seemed to be leaving his lungs. He took the half filled water bottle next to him and drank, then just like his mother used to, he bathe his forehead. The pain unbearable he closed his eyes. Someone far away was singing” o sweet child of mine, oh love of my life.”

IT HAPPENED TO...errr

Well if I say that it happened to my friend then am pretty sure that all of you are intelligent enough to know i am lying.So why bother.Well it happened to me and before I say what, I would like to add that it was not one of my best looking days and I was very very tired.. As much as memory serves I even had fever.I had been out the whole day in the sun so looked really drawn and sick. Okay so now if you promise not to laugh out loud am going to continue the story..

So as it happened, I had to go some place from Dadar and as I reached the required platform the train was about to move so I rushed and climbed into the nearest compartment. The compartment next to mine was a general one and people were actually fighting to even stand where as my compartment which seemed general too was almost empty. After a station a female all decked up with two kids boarded the same compartment and the old man sitting in a corner shouted on her saying that it’s a handicapped compartment and she was not allowed there. The female panicked and got down at the next destination.
And it all left me wondering that why did the old man or any person sitting in the compartment for that fact say anything to me??? I had been sitting there for quite a long time and they uttered no word....ah!!Alls left to imagination...isn’t it???

BOW-WOW

I stare through the cage
I see you
I bark out loud
you stare at me
smile,then mingle
into the crowd
I wag my tail a bit
once or twice I jump
just to please you
oh a joker I have become
my eyes beg to you
to save me from this hell
all you say is 'awww'
nothing rings a bell
you ruffle me for a moment
then look into my eyes
I ask you questions
you don't understand my whys
every action futile
I droop down
and then may be you understand
cuz I see a frown
till I was shouting
u wanted to hug me tight
once I have lost my strength
you want to keep me aside
You lifted me high in your arms
And put me back down to earth
I thought you desired to do me a good turn
Sigh, you turned your back on me,
and thus!behind these grills I return

The Refletion Difference

Ever wondered what was the real story behind the poem Jack and Jill...:)



Old Mrs. Higgins was happy today. She still remembered the day Mrs. Nell on her deathbed asked her to take care of her twin daughters. Finally her promise was going to be fulfilled partly today. It was Jillian’s wedding. The mansion looked beautiful. There were flowers all around. The food smelled great, the cake was the biggest the guests would have ever seen, the band played a beautiful mozartian tune and above all Jillian was marrying the guy she loved. She went upstairs to check on the progress of the bride’s dressing and upon entering saw Jackie kneeling down arranging the pleats of her sister’s dress.
They were uncannily alike. Beautiful, long flowing, silky hair, fair skin, brown doe eyes and petite body, though there temperaments were just the opposite. Jillian was the family girl, she loved to sew, cook, embroider and wanted a dozen kids, on the other hand Jackie was independent, and she loved playing outdoor games, was daring and hated cooking.
Jillian looked like a perfect bride and all Mrs. Higgins could do was hold her heart and give a sigh. Jackie looked very pretty too. She was going to be the prettiest maid of honour newyork had seen for a long long time.
Relieved that everything was going well, Mrs. Higgins left the room and went downstairs to check on the caterers.
The smile from jillian’s face vanished and Jackie left adjusting her dress and stood next to the wall.
Jackie knew that jill had an inklink of what she was upto. She was an independent soul and now when the war was going on with thousands of people getting killed and injured everyday, she had made up her mind that her country needed her more than her family and so she had enlisted her name for the duty of a nurse on the Red Cross. She had to leave today. Her bags were packed. She was here only for jillian’s wedding, the ship would leave in the evening.
Just the thought of leaving her sister scared her but the independent streak called her and with every passing minute the urge to go and serve her country increased.
Jill had read the letters Jackie had received from the Red Cross. She knew that she was leaving today but still could not understand that why was Jackie doing so. She knew she had to confront her before anything happened. She was scared. Part of her wanted to hold her sister tight and part of her just wanted to run away from the sad confrontations. Oh how she wished she could undo everything.
They both looked at each other, their eyes met and they knew the time had come; a decision had to be taken.
Jackie told Jillian it fit could wait till after the ceremony and heaved a breath of relief as she nodded.
The ceremony was beautiful. There was not an eye that didn’t shed a tear, every one ooed and aahed when the bride entered and as they read the vows everyone was touched by the depth of the words. Finally the minister announced them man and wife and the bride and groom kissed.
Jillian was tensed throughout the ceremony. Her eyes followed Jackie. She could sense the tremor in Jackie’s walk too. She knew now or never. She knew they had to go to the hill, there talking place since childhood. They could really bond on the hill. And so Jill gestured Jackie to follow her. Jackie initially confused, eventually understood.
They went up the hill, and Jill confronted Jackie.
Jill-“how could do this to me Jackie”
Jack-“this is a quest to find myself”
Jill-“how can you be so selfish, you have to be with me, your sister, you can’t abandon me and go away. What about your duty towards you sister”
Jack- “what about my duty towards my country Jill". It needs me. There are thousands of people dying. How can you call me selfish when it’s you who is acting so?”
Jill-“you are my sister. Do you know how will I survive without you?”
Jack-‘I can’t take it any more. I love you, you know that but this is something I need to do, for myself and my country. Please don’t force me Jill. I don’t have the strength nor the will to fight you.
Jill could feel the grief Jackie was feeling, her grief was equal.
Saying this Jackie ran down the hill. Her heart was breaking. She wanted to get to the house and get away as soon as possible. She was wearing the high heeled sandals from the wedding and she tripped, down she went the hill and hurt her head. There she sat holding her head in her hands when Jill reached the bottom and seeing Jackie in such a situation she rushed and hugged her for a long time. As they broke the embrace they knew no matter what ever happens, as many wars and distances come between them, their love for each other will never die. And then they laughed at how silly they had behaved throughout.
They returned back to the wedding with Mrs Higgins rushing to their side asking if both of them were okay and where had they disappeared to?
All they could do was smile and keep that adventure detail to themselves forever and cherish it for a long time till they meet again.
Finally Jill had made peace with her sister going away and Jackie was sure that no matter what happens she will always have her sister with her. She knew that she could leave in peace now. With this thought she left to gather her bags and set for the shore, she turned around and saw Jill watching her and could see the love sparkling in the form of tears in her eyes.

FOR YOU

(Dedicated to a very dear friend who lost her mother at a very tender age. Am sorry I hurt you )


I emptied my heart in the night, the pillow was all wet and my eyes swollen, but my heart was full again in the morning, the heart wanted to vent out again, to lament, to cry out loud, proclaiming my love for you, announcing to the world that it was unfair to me, unfair of the world to take away something so beautiful from me. I somehow thought that if I shouted, the gods will hear me and send her back, send her soft hands, her beautiful curls and the most important her enveloping hugs back.
My harrowing sobs turned into sniffles, and I paused to breathe, I knew she was gone, long gone, and all I had was the empty vast feeling which gnawed at my heart. Oh how I wanted to feel her, and just wanted to smell her. Just wanted to tell her that I still remember your sweet scent ma. It reminds me of home no matter wherever I am. I just don’t want to forget it ever. It’s all I have left of you.
But why me, why me out of all people? I know am not the best person in the world, but am not the worst, am I? So why did you leave me, all alone in this world, am not even the grown up yet to fight the world and even if I were the grown up, I wanted your lap to be the kid for a while each day. How can you take away those childish moments away from me? Who gave you the right to do that to me?
I want to fight with you, complain till you agree to come back, I want to pull you, force you and just be the teenager I am and get you back no matter what. I know a lot of people suffer but I am not ready to lose you yet, I am not ready to forget that touch yet. Not that touch that comforted me in the nights, not that touch that held me when I was sick and not that touch that was so familiar that I would know it anywhere. Why does it feel lost? Why do my hands feel so empty? Why do I now stretch my hands in the darkness and nobody holds them, no body consoles me when I cry, no body shares my jokes the way you did ma.
No body.
My eyes welled up again, my throat constricted and those lamenting noises were back, I started to look around, for any reminder of you ran into your room, and looked for anything familiar, a fingerprint, a bangle, something you had cooked, your shoes, anything that will make me feel that you were still there and this all was just a dream, something that will convince me that I am just playing around and you are going to hear me and come running to console me.
Emptying my heart I slept, praying that the dream would end, but it was full again when I woke up.

The Mad lady at Kurla station

I was at Kurla Station, had to go somewhere. As I made my way from the first platform to the fifth..she caught my eye. She sat there, hair unkempt,clothes astray, her pallu falling off and the two buttons of her blouse missing. Two naked kids slept at her feet. Her dirty nails combed her long, even dirtier hair and at times she would hit her self and her children. Now it was an attempt in keeping the mosquitoes away or some thing habitual due to her mental condition is something I am not aware of. she was mentally imbalanced, sitting in a corner begging for money, even grabbing the hem of people's clothes for the sake of money. But all they retorted by was shooing her away, as done with a filthy roadside mongrel. I wonder how can people be so heartless.

She was looking around as if waiting for someone to give her some treasure and suddenly she saw me staring at her from a distance. First she extended her hand asking for money and when I didn't reply to her action she started making faces at me. All I could do was look at her and be mesmerized by the innocence on her face and yet was sure she has seen a lot.

The title says "the mad lady on Kurla station", it doesn't refer to her. but me who was transfixed there looking at her and wondering about the miseries and the miracles of life. The portrait she formed was too beautiful and at the same time filled with sad feelings.She was deranged and yet was fighting for her life and her two kids. Who can be saner than that?

All i could do was admire her and click some pictures of her..

There stood the mad lady at Kurla station staring at the sane one..

My CHOCOLATE man

I was hungry. Noticing a monginis near by me headed towards it. My eyes looked greedily at those gooey chocolate pastries and those great blue berry cakes. Salivating I ordered a big pastry and even asked the girl behind the counter to warm it. All the jumping rats inside my stomach could imagine was the warm melting chocolate they were about to taste in a while. The smell was intoxicating and I was about to order another pastry when I noticed him. He was standing just behind me. The place was not that crowded that he had to be so close, but I just ignored the fact as he was cute. He was not that I-am-a-chocolate-boy-and-gooey-types cute but the-geek-outside-and-the-hunk-inside-cute. He wore those geeky specs. My rats suddenly transformed into butterflies and they started flying around. Our eyes met and were locked for a long time. Suddenly flashes of us together started clouding my mind. I was thinking about all those “awws”.”Ooh”, “so cute” and “wow that’s so romantic” I would get when years later I would tell my kids and their kids how I met their father or grand father. How we were both hungry and bumped into each other and fell in love and how it was love at first sight? and how hungry I was??

Arrgg!! My rats were back at it again, jumping around. He turned around, ordered a paneer patty and was back to coyly staring at me. I tried to behave like a decent girl by not returning his state and started studying my pumps, my nails, my hair, and my mobile, basically everything except him instead.

The girl behind the desk at last kept the big dollop of chocolate in front of me. It was huge, melty, soft and very inviting but suddenly I was filled with horror. He will see me eating so much!! OMG!! What will he think? He will surely won’t even look at me again!! These thoughts scared me, shattering my awws and oohs and the love at first sight stories.

I suddenly behaved as if the female had made a mistake and told her.”I never asked for it, all I want is a bottle of water and a paneer patty. (Yes my order was just what he had ordered too).lucky for me the female didn’t argue and cordially handed us both our respective patties.

I looked towards him and he was staring at me too. He smiled a sheepish smile and oh boy! I was taken. I didn’t know what to do further and then he suddenly as if scared moved away from me.

The door opened and a fat old lady with a big frown on her face, entered and slapped him on his back saying “tu maine chad k aa gaya khote” (you left me alone and are here, you ass!), and I stood there shocked as how she kept on scolding him and he kept on listening with a feared expression on his face. After that he didn’t even dare look towards me. The scared little puppy was just too scared.

My heart sobbed. I had left my cute little faithful, tasty piece of chocolate for that momma’s boy, and then I realized that leaving chocolate for a man is never worth it.