Notions of an unemployed heart

Conflicted emotions surround my heart
My brain stops to think
My eyes sore red wondering all night
Did not sleep a wink
I want this; I want all of that,
The world of truth and lies,
Oh calm is not near me anymore,
The heart of mine like a baby cries
No sorrowful moans, nor tears of joy
It’s the lament of the confused
The worry of the path ahead
And sorrow for the life already used
The path so unclear, dull and lonely
Scares me to the core
I love him, I love him not
Oh yeah I am, I am a heart whore
For Two seconds I think of what I just said
And then smile to me aloud
Then the memory of each passing day
Does my memory cloud!
I scribble, I dabble, I scream, I babble
Life is just so wasted on nothing
They days goes by, the night comes out shy
Should I just start to sing?
Yeah I didn’t get a rhyming word
I know how you all think
I could have used a more suitable word
Instead of using sing for nothing
I look around; trust me not a sound,
Just tick tock of the clock
The moving fan looks down on me
Then laughs and then mock
I know I can do a lot
It’s the time to win the war
Then I laze and sleep and think aloud
But doomsday ain’t that far.
So why work and waste your time
When sleep is at your beck and call
Judge me all if you want to
In your court oh world is the ball!!