Wednesday, April 21, 2010

the teenager

Confessions of a teenager: from a girl to a lady.
A woman sees a lot of changes in her life. From an infant to a girl, a girl to a lady and a lady to a woman and then a mother.
A girl to a lady, she discovers a lot of truths and shocks which change her being for ever.A delving into the certain female of how she discovered lady hood at her doorstep and welcomed it.
An innocent girl dreams when just entering her teens dreams of those movie heroes she sees, the hormones churning inside her make her conscious suddenly of the males around her, that is what happened to me when I turned thirteen. Though my mental state was still that of a kid, a wary feeling for the males around did engulf me later. At those moments the movie heroes, Jack of titanic or Raj of kuch kuch hota hai were the ones who kept my feelings alive and later the fantasies of the prince on the white horse coming to rescue me from the bondages of home fuelled my desire to grow up soon. Ah how I wanted to have those curves as those beautiful girls on screen and look like them.
A certain elder female residing near my house made me jealous because she was better looking than me, had better curves and boys looked at her ignoring me where ever we went. Initially she was for me the nice and cute neighbour and elder sister who taught me to ride a cycle or the one who used to stitch my Barbie’s clothes for me, but suddenly she was the rival like any other girl. Just some days and all was forgotten because of these hormones.
A big change in my life. I remember how those simple jokes initially thought to be grownuppy stuff made sense and a smile tugging at my lips of knowing things which I supposed no one knew always remained intact. The stories made more sense now and books like Nancy drew and hardy boys lost interest. The miils and boons and the harlequin romances mad e more sense and made my dreams kind of nearing reality.
Talking of dreams, well they are the most beautiful possessions of mine of that time. The dreams are so pure, so untouched and so virginal. That was the case of my dreams. Beautiful yet different than the earlier ones.
Dressing up was something I always liked but suddenly I wanted to look really good. Those hours in front of the mirror looking at the tiniest detail of my face and figuring out the best features, plan to enhance them was a common thing . Combing my hair for hours and hours together staring onto the space. Being lost in thoughts was my new favourite hobby. It was like being born again with more understanding and intelligence.
I knew that time had come. I was no more a kid now. The girl in me would never be dead but it would never the4 whole of me. It was like I was the larva, metamorphosing into the beautiful butterfly. The process had begun and I knew it.

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